its just..

playing on before you said goodbye.. i admit.. i've been very positive.. or is it had been.. these few days.. these past weeks and wasn't just.. i dunno y.. probably is it coz of the environment or am i just too tired? i really credit myself for bringing on a positive perspective to my life after a downright straight fall... but now seems like, tgh i wudn't have to confide in blog, i feel i had to let a bit of emotions wander, just to compensate for being quite strong ahead..

i felt the past is coming back again.. till ter seemed to be an outburst of the past feelings.. and i just exp smething not pleasant.. smethn negative.. and tat is.. hatred. i couldn't help feeling the way i do.. proly the past had dealt with me in such a strong way, which had me questioning, rationalising all i could.. why is this happening.. and i was damn-right hurt.. so damn right hurt tat things did not go rite.. (frenships)

even now.. i gave up many things just for tat.. i fear i had to confront her.. the only thing i cud do is.. to treat her as *dead*.. sad.. just for the sake of my well-being.. but i will def make sure all these will come to past.. it just takes time.. and i won't act or feel negative anymore coz.. i just want this to come to past..

just had church.. damn right pissed tat my shepherd did not give his testimony.. it changed last min.. im beginning to feel different upon the church.. and just dun feel rite abt some speech.. i hope i dun quit church just coz of this.. i love the church.. i just want it to be in my way and God's..

gambate.. shee mei finally sent me a msg after two weeks.. i wonder when is father's day.. i will try my best to cont for this exam.. then i really really.. want to make use of my holidays.. even enjoy it more than the prev two.. thailand had some bad memories.. kl too had me mooded for some frenship.. this time i'm free frm any of this.. but have one.. whom never failed to put on tat spirit and positivity upon my life.. so frm ter i adapted tat way..

i miss my country.. my home.. i will be ter soon.. in one week time.. by-passing sg..