unreal 1611

1511.. nw its 7 mins past.. 1611. tis time a dif context.. a dif taste in contrast aft i'd slam my sis out of the chatrm due to interruption.. tt wasn me.. i'm fearing if i strt to get the knack of it, my reckless attitude wud surface.. i mean in blogs. my emotional trait.. my complexity.. my desire to be deep.

i won't want to go back again.. even if it means beautiful, serene.. even if it means poietic. i just feel life has to be like wat it shud be.. easy, swift & forward.. appreciating nw.. who gives a damn abt displeasancy a few hrs back.
i give a damn abt my life..

smehw i think u maybe rite. a pushover. wat's the point? i may entirely knw y i've alwez been like tis.. its in my genetics. bt wat i may nt knw is the sort of burden u get frm doing such tgs.. so far the present condition is ok.. my role of being a philanthropist was never as much appreciated where i was back then. due to misunderstanding of motives, conflict of interests. so far, well.. all these pesky lil' acts.. hw was i to maintain them? bcoz of u..

thanks 4 curing me frm nicolinemia.. so miss.. i imagined hw so persistently i was able to get up early.. getting on long bus rides.. evry sundays.. to the law lib.. while almst no one was ter.. with me starting on.. beginning a new chapter of page-opening and strt over.. 'one step at a time.. step by step.. gam ba te..'

small words like these often used as motivation cannt be underestimated.. smetmes wen u find urself nowhere just a lil' call frm a fren helps a lot.. it helps in a 'tangible' world wen u need to get things done on a world-scale.. and peeps. u alrite ter.. thanks for all those damn comments.. it shws the world still cares.. and what more can i ask for?

its been one sem. things changed a lot. think the feeling has subside.. its nt tt bad anymore.. i knw it takes tme. i'd nt been in touch with sme ppl.. bt i still think of them. just knw tat. jacarands indeed bloomed tis season shee mei.. bt like u say, its all diff. wt mre can i ask for besides wt i am nw? i've gone to a level.. even just by a couple of yrs..

during tt journey, i met sme.. i opened my eyes.. u knw tt 15 yr old hsemate who left the hse just a few weeks back.. she changed my perspective of life.. indeed ter is a 'human' in brisbane.. if u knw wt i mean.. i looked on.. and one mre seemed such 'clique' in terms of personality and values.. i strived to build on tt one cz i've faith.. i just hpe for it..

i begin to see more tngs i never see then.. nw.. im beginning to feel like the 'old' me back again.. bt its ok.. just 4 a while.. i remembered i wnted to say sme tngs aft the exams.. oh yea.. u see tina. if u knw her, u can see wt builds her up. she's superwoman. wat's drastic is having to cme back a mnth aft.. she's too busy.. :p err.. smetmes wen u feel happy due to certain things.. wats wrong is it to be even frm the slightest tangible sources? im beginning to understand and respct tat 'otherwise'.. i accept its just the way it is..

u knw.. life can be like tis.. such unpredictable post-exam post. hah~ just wanna say im gonna make this up.. im gonna enjoy it.. and live it full~ slack may be.. but full.. bit meaningful at least.. and i wanna say sorry to my sis.. sorry for me being such a dupe! u tk.. and its all nt wrth it for you.