full of 'hard'...
aft-
just went out for solace and time alone.. bought myself a choc bar~ went on slacking.. maybe not the right word.. went on being "succumbly nothingness".. reminiscing the times then like how it used to be back in brunei.. looking at nightly stars and having quiet time at one kiulap spot.. i had to rest my mind.. slacked.. succumb to my downs.. lay down flat on grasses.. think thought & think.. wat a nice place to be like homeless beggars in Guyatt park.. just lying on the grassbed and not doing anything..
usually i needed calmness like tis b4 i could get any better.. then during this, i kept on questioning God's goodness.. i was really thinking.. 'God.. y am i praying and giving it all.. y im still in a huge problem.." i tot really with God and fully committing unto Him, i should be more peaceful & hopeful in terms of life.. really tats wat i expect..
i came across a small bird (still couldn't fly..) who dropped frm the upper branches of a tree.. i decided to put it back up and when i went after it.. it tried its best to run away.. eventually hopping round one branch, slowly reaching the upper branches and then finally went to the top of the peak, where i couldnt reach it..
frm this.. i thought y is it tat i needed God's help.. i could have done it on my own.. problems in this world make u stonger.. if i hadnt chased the bird, it wouldnt haf gone up and had his good spot of place where it can cry for food.. y depend on God.. y not myself.. i could haf been much better off doing things on my own like how i used to.. then i think.. tis is really not good attitude to think like tis..
i fell coz of life situations.. suddenly things come.. and they make *life difficult* (or rather h... out of my life) and suddenly it all came together.. one already exist for some time.. i really wished for a 'home'.. the other came to be so influential.. i thought it was ... and the third was really the tough pressure on academic and exams.. just finished a 750 word assignment and now ive to study for an exam tis fri.. wat a pity.. i haven got any chance to study over the past few weeks coz got so affected by the second problem.. now i haf to be stressed again..
after long moments.. i came to realisation...
I shouldn blame on God for my life situations.. it just so happened and i know He has his eyes upon me.. just.. i could have seen God answered my prayer.. i'm so blinded by problems tat i failed to see him move... i know He has given me hope.. he gave me a life in place, much better life than b4 when i get to know Him.. but really it's the life situations that keep us away frm the view of God's grace and deeds.. maybe life's just too hard nowadays.. i slipped thought of His grace for the moment just bcoz of the things tat i was going thru.. but really it is Him who i should now depend on.. and i pray really for the next few weeks, u'll bless me upon my work.. give me motivation.. give me persistence.. give me the courage to go on with my study.. i hope and i pray...
i just misunderstood i had to give it 'all' up to You.. and lose myself.. but really this is not the case.. instead.. u can be urself.. just use God every instant in ur life.. i quote frm fabian this phrase abt studying coz for me studying didn really seem to work with God.. coz i thought i can actually do better on my own.. he said" just need to pray to God, you do ur best and he'll do the rest.." so i think i just have to pray.. and study hard myself.. hee.. okok.. God! u're still mine.. i still commit unto you regardless of life situations.. gonna head to prayer meeting soon.. plse make a move to touch me.. i put total admiration upon You.. and i alwez will...
sorry for me giving worries to my parents.. i've not been updated with my sis as well.. not sure how she's going.. and one reason for my down~ mei.. its been 2 weeks.. :s wer's the reinfocement.. even jocy's one couldn help.. wat's wrong with me... - 11/10/05
just went out for solace and time alone.. bought myself a choc bar~ went on slacking.. maybe not the right word.. went on being "succumbly nothingness".. reminiscing the times then like how it used to be back in brunei.. looking at nightly stars and having quiet time at one kiulap spot.. i had to rest my mind.. slacked.. succumb to my downs.. lay down flat on grasses.. think thought & think.. wat a nice place to be like homeless beggars in Guyatt park.. just lying on the grassbed and not doing anything..
usually i needed calmness like tis b4 i could get any better.. then during this, i kept on questioning God's goodness.. i was really thinking.. 'God.. y am i praying and giving it all.. y im still in a huge problem.." i tot really with God and fully committing unto Him, i should be more peaceful & hopeful in terms of life.. really tats wat i expect..
i came across a small bird (still couldn't fly..) who dropped frm the upper branches of a tree.. i decided to put it back up and when i went after it.. it tried its best to run away.. eventually hopping round one branch, slowly reaching the upper branches and then finally went to the top of the peak, where i couldnt reach it..
frm this.. i thought y is it tat i needed God's help.. i could have done it on my own.. problems in this world make u stonger.. if i hadnt chased the bird, it wouldnt haf gone up and had his good spot of place where it can cry for food.. y depend on God.. y not myself.. i could haf been much better off doing things on my own like how i used to.. then i think.. tis is really not good attitude to think like tis..
i fell coz of life situations.. suddenly things come.. and they make *life difficult* (or rather h... out of my life) and suddenly it all came together.. one already exist for some time.. i really wished for a 'home'.. the other came to be so influential.. i thought it was ... and the third was really the tough pressure on academic and exams.. just finished a 750 word assignment and now ive to study for an exam tis fri.. wat a pity.. i haven got any chance to study over the past few weeks coz got so affected by the second problem.. now i haf to be stressed again..
after long moments.. i came to realisation...
I shouldn blame on God for my life situations.. it just so happened and i know He has his eyes upon me.. just.. i could have seen God answered my prayer.. i'm so blinded by problems tat i failed to see him move... i know He has given me hope.. he gave me a life in place, much better life than b4 when i get to know Him.. but really it's the life situations that keep us away frm the view of God's grace and deeds.. maybe life's just too hard nowadays.. i slipped thought of His grace for the moment just bcoz of the things tat i was going thru.. but really it is Him who i should now depend on.. and i pray really for the next few weeks, u'll bless me upon my work.. give me motivation.. give me persistence.. give me the courage to go on with my study.. i hope and i pray...
i just misunderstood i had to give it 'all' up to You.. and lose myself.. but really this is not the case.. instead.. u can be urself.. just use God every instant in ur life.. i quote frm fabian this phrase abt studying coz for me studying didn really seem to work with God.. coz i thought i can actually do better on my own.. he said" just need to pray to God, you do ur best and he'll do the rest.." so i think i just have to pray.. and study hard myself.. hee.. okok.. God! u're still mine.. i still commit unto you regardless of life situations.. gonna head to prayer meeting soon.. plse make a move to touch me.. i put total admiration upon You.. and i alwez will...
sorry for me giving worries to my parents.. i've not been updated with my sis as well.. not sure how she's going.. and one reason for my down~ mei.. its been 2 weeks.. :s wer's the reinfocement.. even jocy's one couldn help.. wat's wrong with me... - 11/10/05
posted by keith at
5:50 pm
2 Comments:
Remember the video you watched? The true and the false convert. The true convert is the one who does not give up even when persecution, temptations and tribulations come his way.
Hold fast in the Lord. Do not give up.
Matt 6:25-34 - "Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more important than food, and the body more important than clothes? Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they? Who of you by worrying can add a single hour to his life? "And why do you worry about clothes? See how the lilies of the field grow. They do not labor or spin. Yet I tell you that not even Solomon in all his splendor was dressed like one of these. If that is how God clothes the grass of the field, which is here today and tomorrow is thrown into the fire, will he not much more clothe you, O you of little faith? So do not worry, saying, 'What shall we eat?' or 'What shall we drink?' or 'What shall we wear?' For the pagans run after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them. But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.
Continue to seek after God and put Him first in your life.
yes.. tats y i thought i should cont to put faith onto Him tgh having to go thru all those hardships.. coz i know and we know He is faithful! our spiritual effort will not be in vain.. yes.. yes.. need not to be worry or sad or anything.. just put faith unto Him and He'll do the rest.. amen!
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