the other side

hmm.. i haf lots to write too in this post.. just blabber~

nothing really is more satisfying than doing work.. a whole bunch of tasks.. u know just indulge myself doing a whole day of work.. basically not school work but some tasks.. mostly physical.. u know coz waking up in the morn, u couldnt expect a straight good mood and clear mind.. so i began washing clothes.. sweeping and mopping.. cleaning the toilet.. vacuuming.. arranging the room.. lala.. fuff.. then all i decided for today is to just do things tat i needed to do.. changing date for the airticket and shopping.. then came back home.. slept in the eve.. cooked a meal.. a full-hearted meal.. washed the dishes, spending 1 1/2 hr in the kitchen and now typing blog.. i feel ter's nothing else more satisfying than finishing a day's work..

i learnt a few concepts frm some ppl.. i remembered once latha told me when i was under her therapy.. the mind is very strong and smetmes the way u think can really make a huge difference in ur life.. say.. 'what u think is what u r'.

i really accept this fact so much tat the mind is really tat powerful.. even thomas last time told me smethn abt the power of the 'subconscious mind'.. somehow if ppl hope for smethng so much or practically just the right method of powering all those thoughts onto a particular thing.. u may just get the right response of ur desires or maybe the response of a miracle.. cool huh?

my dad recently also gave me a few.. one in particular was- do not try to expect things in return frm ppl or frm ur deeds so tat u wont feel too much burden in ur life.. im also beginning to think tis is rite.. its tat u dun expect too many things frm the things tat u do.. u know.. just basically know ur life and do ur stuff or *just do it*..

one thing i really liked a lot frm one point is being myself.. one thing abt me and shee mei knows is.. i so inspire great personality.. i myself can say can be quite personalised to be like someone always trying to help and give concern or just practically making situations in life to be good and wonderful.. smetmes i do expect smething in return and it really is bad if i cant get back.. but poor thing only shee mei praises for my attribute.. so dun expect too much.. i just haf to be who i haf to be... :)

so cool.. yea.. i got a new testimonial.. talking abt good personality, here she comes.. wow.. din expect to be praised of being a 'great thinker' heh~ esp by my senior.. wah.. heheh.. thanks.. good luck for ur exams.. these days, things have become smooth again.. shee mei replied.. manz.. my neck was really long like zirafa's mei.. junior's contact.. i could keep in touch with jocy wow.. and leeshi.. ehem.. naughty girl finally gave in.. ;) yala.. frens can be tat important.. even those missed frens like jess replied.. i had to take the initiative.. angela and valerie.. :) but u know wat.. 3 weeks in schedule b4 the finals and tis is really not fun.. tis time is war.. strive and i have to start planning tomorrow.. hmm...

leeshi's comment stirred a lot of thoughts.. :) she realised my change and can't say she liked it..? ur opinion dun mind anymore? of coz it does.. u're still a fren ok.. i just know u and joce are still part of my life.. i also know tat ur guys feedback are quite important.. maybe like clarifying some thoughts or conflicts in my mind.. the part tat i need to satisfy myself tat i'm still indeed being myself.. :s (get it..? :p) thanks anyway.. i'll never lose myself and i reassure to you guys this..

wat else.. u know even now.. i just wonder did i miss anyone? haha.. i'm tat crazy of making ppl 'good'.. ryung shun hamsam nida? sarang ni da kwon BoA des? oh yea b4 i forget.. haha.. i just wanna say one thing and really tat love is such a foolish thing.. very influential but foolish... :p

how i remembered the first.. it was very deep but good it gave me the only experience.. second.. lolz.. dun mention.. and u know how it doesn't really affect me now at all.. (it really takes time) and all wat's past is just crappy frens conflict and foolish acts.. sigh.. still cant imagine how i spent 60 for the three bears.. and the third sigh.. cycle changes and switches..

i remembered once having to search for konglish and typed those words and display them somewhere.. just to express.. i'm so foolish..

"너가 너가 사랑안에 이는 누구에 말할 때 이렇게 단단하다. 그것이 잊는 시간을... 걸린다 것 을 나는 있있다" can't remember wat it means now..

so much i can say is tat she's really different and wat's not good at all is my desire of wanting to try to help her.. (thinking she needed help) and probably achieving confidence and trying to get along.. but love made me cling to her ways and really tats not a good thing coz wat i fear most is losing myself.. so much, my emotions were involved and i wasnt stable for the past few weeks.. i know i have to rely on my thinking again.. revert back few paras b4..

my mind's so tired.. k la.. enough.. and one thing to note really is.. i express too much.. bad coz im not supposed to.. stereotyping guys dont blog and express but good coz i thought its just the way of life.. having to do something to make u feel better as u go thru life's ups and downs.. just writing stuff and marking down life's history.. ok.. i'll end here.. have a good weekend guys.. tk and good luck...