sigh again.. with a :D

tis morn.. seem to be like any other dull morn.. the usual mourn of a loss and all.. i think my heart has really gone far too sincere and wasn't really able to think properly.. sigh.. i haf many frens but sometimes when i think back.. i tot she was my best ever.. all wat i'd done for her was sincerity.. pure sincerity and nothing else.. but she just couldn't appreciate it.. so my mind practically went on diving into this deep trap.. thinking and thinking on how to resolve my mind's conflicts.. really haf i done anything wrong..? y she has to act so 'enemyous' towards me.. and yes.. i went to see her blog.. just couldn't really accept the fact tat all this happened..

so much to say.. i couldnt believe her treatment towards me now.. which is coz i never pictured her to be like this in actual fact.. b4.. i knew she had really great personality while treating me as a best fren.. as caring and tolerant.. and suddenly.. she might haf turned herself into a lioness.. clearly in her blog, she revealed her trueself.. she might not know but her personality was not much of good-natured at all.. she's cruel, sly, cold-blooded, not consistent with wat's in the past and has no sense of discipline.. i might be wrong.. but she has really gone much too far.. went on quoting me sarcastically like im not worth a penny.. all this while, i might haf hurted her and she disliked it.. but wat i did was purely something of a sincere frenship involvement.. things happen coz we got too close and boom~ the light signals went off and everything just ended up like tis..

moreover.. wat i realised now is the fact tat she has really treated me as nothing.. she can give up tat easily.. really couldn't believe.. from her blog, i can see she's gone far too blinded with love.. (tats not wrong) but her ego has really gone far to its greatest and she said its mine who's gone great..? lolz.. its like we couldn't admire u.. and u'd just think tat there is only one person for u.. n make urself like a jewel in the palace like no other place has.. :) well.. i guess.. she may be too egoistic.. like the size of texas? haha.. let me change tat.. i'd say it wud be like the size of the whole of America~! she'd just ignore others (stalkers) like anythn and guess wat.. even her best fren.. ok.. i think i'd just better skip tis..

wat frenship is all abt is sincerity and understanding.. couldn't a sincere fren just care at all.. we quarrel and u couldn't even tolerate the ups & down of a frenship? wat kind of frenship do u think tis is.. u couldn't even mend a frenship or solve it or even make it better.. she could just sweep u away like anythn.. a 'bad' person with lots of pride~ maybe u two r just really good enuf to be couples.. bad and all.. hopefully u two wudn't end up quarelling and messing up the whole place of living.. :p man.. haf i really gone too far..? sigh..

now.. i really think tat is her.. bad-natured... hah~ cant imagine u treating me like any other u used to describe to me b4.. criticism, prejudice not to mention discrimination.. when somehow u laughed abt me in frnt of ur frens! i wonder how many guy frens u make had become victims of u just like me.. maybe i understand their feelings already.. kevin, etc.. i had been so sincere but i thought it's not worth it to be sad just because of a ____ like u! accusations u may say.. but u've clearly showed it..

sigh.. maybe its just love tat changed u or maybe its just u.. i respected u b4 for ur kind acts and deeds.. but sincerely now i realise how different ppl can be in this world.. as i came to know u.. i somehow couldn't accept ur every thoughts, feelings and intentions.. maybe, we just weren't meant to be frens.. we're just not compatible at all..

thanks joce.. for forgiving me.. you're never a conflict-type of person.. good to go with and all.. but yea.. i missed those sincere 'her' b4.. i mean the other one.. not u.. sorry to say but now she's totally changed or maybe she's revealed her trueself.. well.. tanks for everything joce as a fren and all.. u're a great fren btw..

im beginning to let go.. and accept tat she's that type of person now.. and i'd just truly let go.. great to know i've great frens with me now.. used to think she's the greatest coz of how i really depended on her b4.. now i think i 'll just haf to move on.. my mind wud just forgive and forget for the sake of my life and future..

haha.. today luckily my gang was there to cheer me up.. went out for many activities.. gave a gift to sharon, the loso.. no lar jk.. the b'day girl.. ;p, went swimming, cs in netcom, pool in arena and in the morning.. went to the temple, church for prayers.. (im a freethinker), tamu and bandar port just to relax my mind.. i was having a 'frenzy' fun with them tonite trying to lolz as possible just to sweep away my downed feelings.. :p and i succeeded.. no doubt, i've become as crazy as ever.. well tat's the way life goes.. i feel much better with my guy pals rather than the girls.. maybe they r more reliable than any other... :p tanks to u all.. tat im able to cheer myself up now..

going miri soon.. shee mei.. all the fun with ur holidays~ i salute u~ u're worth it.. go enjoy to ur very best in germany and all.. just remember to buy me smethn there~ haha jk.. tk.. and all the best~ :D

(p.s. i did all this just to make myself feel a bit better.. sigh..)