acceptance

yes i know. recently i've been too hard on myself. i've been trying. very well. spoken thru. constantly. just let go. for weeks. months. i'd cont to strive. to accept. yet i din know. i'd just be living. in denial. living a life. not truthful. forced to keep away the feelings. to drive off and wish to forget it. once and for all.

instead. i'd just be a fool of myself. being in tat manner. tat i'd only be in moodiness. toughness and hardships. thought of avenge. yet i know. it's not my nature. tat cont wud just kill it. at last i learned. to accept. to honor my feelings. be true to myself. smetmes we just. have to be. in tat state.

yes i'd love. i still do. i want it all. i know i seemed wise. acting like i could control any. solve it all and tat matter. tat now. it'd all just come and burst out. putting me. into pieces. and just sayin to myself. i surrender. i give up. i accept i lost. i just want it all. and in any case. i'd hug.

yet soon i know, i'd have to cont my foolish ways. just to give it up. and live. wake up the next day. and be positive again. knowing now tat. i'd have no right to control. to manipulate. but just to let it be. be hopeful. tat one day. things will come into place. and the feelings wud just. be no more there.

"Letting go, even if it hurts, doesn't mean you have to let go of everything. You just have to let go of the person and your feelings for him/her but the memories will always be there whether its good or bad.
Because every time you remember those memories, it will always put a smile into your heart. And be glad that once in your life this person made you happy and put colors into your life even if it's just for a while."

frm here i pondered. upon how i'd in the end. at one point. i let it go. for the first time. now in fact. it's nothingness. yet i know. the remedy. wud it take 2 years? the first. 6 months? the second. now? it's already two months. 3? nvless. let me cont. to be true and stern. as i cont to be weak and fake. let it be alternate. and soon. just soon. let time. free it all.

sorry sharon. i'd been harsh. yet u tolerated and endured. and wud just offer to let urself low and spoke to me. i admit i wasn't and haven't been in good mood. next monday ah. ur treat ah. lol. i thought of a place. why not fratini? and we'll have the whole aft to improve fellowship. :) let me see. fri with yung soon shop and barbering. sat wth asme lunch and movie or biomed juniors beach gathering? nite with guys. sun with fam. let it be exulting. i pray and hope.

morale: acceptance
feelings: relieved'