med stud

i went across medscape and found this. it's like this thought that suddenly submerge and challenging me to think abt the years to come. really i've already been thru most of these stresses which i thought may be already enough but i think there's more to it in a medical student life. it's really helpful to see the things i'm gonna expect soon..

Confessions of a First-Year Med Student

Pin-Chieh Chiang -- I study too much and yet never enough. I would love to be the gunner in the class, the one sitting in front who knows the answer to every question. But I’m not. I know I definitely don’t want to be at the other end of the spectrum and so I’m not. I am somewhere in between.

I feel disconnected from my friends, old and new. My old friends are job hunting, working, eating lunch, clubbing, bar hopping, dating, etc. They sometimes contact me and I always say I’m studying. My new friends from medical school – well, we are always studying.

Except, I’m not always studying. I study too much and yet never enough. I sit with a book in front of me. It’s opened to the right chapter and maybe even the right page. But really my focus is on my computer screen. I play free cell, shop online, download music, draw cartoons, read articles (medical and non-medical), and most of all I pretend I will start studying in the next 5 minutes.

I’m late. I was always a punctual person, but now I’m always late to dates, dinner, movies, and even just going home. In fact I choose the later date to turn in my assignments. My professors understand.

This whole year I’ve shared a lot of laughs with my classmates, but mostly I’ve worried, stressed, cried, and lost sleep over medical school. I’ve worried about the year passing by too quickly and too soon and that I’ve barely learned anything. How could I ever handle the 2nd year?

Now it’s here, the last few days have come and I can’t wait for this first year to end. Somehow I’ve survived, have passed and am passing all my classes. I’m ready for the summer and for next year. Next year, I plan to study too much, but probably not enough.

May 21, 2006 in Pin-Chieh Chiang Permalink


See what others have to reply:

1) Ada,
This is something that just developed in med school for me. In high school I studied "exactly enough" to get the grades I wanted to make sure I could go to UCD. Then college started and I had to fight a little bit more for my free time. Yet on top of being the typical premed, I still had plenty of time to hang out with friends. I don't want to deter you from high education. Still you really should not always feel like this as you go onto college - (maybe only around exams time). In med school - it's different. I have to say that no matter what I love being where I am and doing what I'm doing. I'm exactly where I wanted to be.
Posted by: Pin-Chieh May 22, 2006 5:02:10 PM

2) I'm just finishing up my gr 12 year of high school right now, and you know what? that entry is an exact description of my entire year! I really hope that my case of "studying too much but not enough" is really just because I'm getting sick of high school, but I have to ask, were you always this way or did it suddenly develop in med school? And have you found a cure yet?
-Ada
Posted by: Ada May 22, 2006 4:10:24 PM

3) I`m a medical student in Mauritius, and i just ended my second year, last week. I`ve been reading your entry, and I realised I had been through the same things as you. I guess most of the medical students have been there. You see your hig school buddies who are always out at nights having fun, while you gotta pore on your anatomy book. You see your friends organising outings while you must stay back and read about physiology. Well pal, life`s like that. To get out of those depressing thoughts, you need to have a hard look at your priorities. Remind yourself of why you had chosen medicine as your career. Then remember that you can do extracurricular activities too, you only need the desire for it. I started a parallel couse in cooking and took up yoga lessons. My results have not gone down, but instead improved. This is because I`ve found ways to relax, to get rid of the stress and to learn how to channel my energy. I hope that you`ll be able to do the same. I wish u all the best
Posted by: Charlotte May 22, 2006 3:55:57 PM

4) Dear "1st yr medical student"...I'm a 3rd yr medical student from Iran/Tehran.I think these are not much big problems when you can get what you need for going ahead so easily.Then, what remains is a problem of your own abilities.I guess u'll learn what u should do,it'll get much better in the next years.But studying all the time is not a good way,it's better when u study when u really WANT to. Anyway,wish u luck.
Posted by: Innocence May 22, 2006 3:20:19 PM

5) Great comment on the physical diagnosis buddy. I have a patient partner buddy for OMM class. Initially it was like "what do you mean we have to meet every week and play doctor/patient?" Just taking out a few hours every week for this assignment seemed like a big deal. But it turned out to be a great way to stay grounded, make a new friend, and practice OMM.
Thanks for the comments!
Q for 2nd years - should I even continue my gym membership next year?
Posted by: Pin-Chieh May 22, 2006 2:02:14 PM

6) Seriously, you need to chill. If you're spending too long ambling around ebay (i know the feeling all too well!) make a decision to get out, do something useful and go back to your work after an hour or so. go to the gym, call a friend, go for a run, make some tea and watch TV for half an hour- anything, but you'll feel a lot more productive if you only sit down when you're determined to work and do something else when you're not. Medicine isn't all about studying all the time, unless you want to burn out. There's plenty of time for all that work in a few years time, for now do the work you have to, bond with your classmates and learn how to relax!
Posted by: emma May 22, 2006 6:15:56 AM

7) Luckily for me, I had no access to the internet until after leaving medical school.
It was still a comedy of errors (and terrors) though, sitting up all night reading and re-reading the same paragraph in my physiology text or handout because my mind had long ago ceased focusing, out of sheer fatigue.
Or, trying to finish a dissection after class, knowing it's Friday afternoon and your friends 2000 miles away are playing paintball and quaffing beer, and you're literally and figuratively hog-tied by the many clutching, tangled, matted cords of the brachial plexus.

It can be a very lonely road, but there are little tricks and reprieves for almost every situation. Let your sense of humor and hopefully some camaraderie with a study buddy lead you back to center. If you can, choose an elective in a clinical setting or a preceptorship so you can let the real life clinical applications put some wind in your sails.

One thing that saved me, my 2nd year physical diagnosis buddy knew what coffeeshops and bars were open really REALLY late in walking distance from the house so we could go down, hang out for about half an hour, and then go back to study. Not really to drink, just to feel the cool night air on our faces, let our hair down for a few minutes and let the regulars know we were still alive. It's breif, but it still made us feel like we actually got to go out and DO/SEE something.

If you only have an hour to give, find a friend and give them an hour, catch up on old times, reestablish ties, do silly stuff, etc. Do this as many times as you can with your various friends and family until you can make it to freedom and the end of the term. Visiting hours at the state prison may seem more luxuriant, but every little bit helps. Every. Little. Bit.
Posted by:_ May 21, 2006 8:23:11 PM